Ask Andrew, the Gay Travel Guru

 

Your Questions answered by Andrew, the Gay Travel Guru

 

Dear Andrew,

I met a wonderful amazing Guy.  Its been love at first sight.  He’s never traveled out of the country before. I want to take him on an amazing trip.  I want him to enjoy traveling as much as I do.  Where should I take him for his first trip?   It must be romantic and inspiring.

Signed,

Crazy in Love + Ready for Priceless Moments

 

Dear Crazy in Love,

You may be eager to create Priceless moments with your new found love, but I suggest you slow down a bit.   Actually, slow it down a lot.  Priceless moments should not be rushed.  They should happen naturally and gradually.

If this new relationship is meant to be, take time. Get to know this guy in his environment. Let him get to know you in your usual environment.   A trip shouldn’t be necessary to solidify a relationship.

In truth, more often than not, a big trip for a new couple just as likely to end an relationship as it is likely to strengthen the relationship.   There are a lot of expectations and much stress with any big trip.  Traveling with a new companion can be very stressful.   Your high exceptions may not be received as you expect.

With that in mind, I suggest you postpone any travel until you really get to know each other.  This can’t be rushed.   And  before you start to take any big trip, start with one day outings.  Then consider an overnight trip to a place he suggests. Like a nearby town, a beach or mountain.  Go hiking or explore a museum or town together.  Get to know how you each respond to stress and difficulties.   Get to know what you each enjoy and dislike.  If you are still crazy in love after six months, then plan a trip together.

Signed,

Andrew, your Gay Travel Guru

 

Dear Andrew,

My partner and I have together for three years.   We have been monogamous, but we want to try our first three-way.   We are thinking of going on a Gay Cruise. What do you suggest?

Signed,

Ready for More

 

Dear Ready for More,

Any couple’s first three way, can be problematic.   Often the first three way results in misunderstandings, hurt feeling and jealousies.  A seven day Gay cruise is is not the place to explore this new openness in your relationship.    If misunderstands or jealousies arise, these feeling will be compounded  through the rest of the trip.

I’d suggest you try your first three way closer to home.  Perhaps a nearby town or city. Someplace where public transportation is available so you are both certain to get home.

After three-ways are routine and no big thing, a Gay party cruise might be the right thing.   But first you must both get past any insecurities, misunderstanding and jealousies.

Signed,

Andrew, your Gay Travel Guru

 

Dear Andrew,

My friend invited me to to go on multi-city European tour.  He’s been preparing every detail for months. He keeps telling me that it is going to be PERFECT!   And that the problem.

Whenever our Thursday Night Eat Out Group made a plan to go to some new restaurant, my friend would get all excited.  He’d read the reviews. He would make copies of the menu and highlight the PERFECT selections for each of us.   He would be absolutely sure that everything would be PERFECT until we arrived at the restaurant and then everything would be bad, horrible, the worst ever.  The valet has dirty hands and shouldn’t touch his car.  The five minute wait was 10 minutes too long.  The menu isn’t the same as when he stopped by and took photos of it two weeks prior.   All of his favorite selections are not available.  His chair is uncomfortable. The waiter isn’t the cute sexy latino he expected. Our, female waitress doesn’t appreciate his culinary insights.  His appetizer is the wrong temperature.  His salad croutons are not crunchy. Before the entree arrives he would be ready to call the Health Department to report unsanitary conditions.

Our Thursday Night Eat Out Group used to have eight guys. Now its just my friend and me.   The others guys started a secret Wednesday Eat Out.  So now my friend wants me to go to Europe with him.   He is otherwise a nice Guy. He means well, but… What should I do?

Signed,

Less than Perfect is Ok with Me

 

Dear Less than Perfect,

I led luxury travel tours for 12 years.  On every tour there would be a Mr. Perfect who would make the tour miserable for everyone.  I finally learned to address it immediately, at the first sign of the first disparaging remark coming out of Mr. Perfect’s mouth.  I’d immediately put my arms around Mr. Perfect and say, “Listen, I know what you are about to say.  Don’t say it.  The other guests are happy.  They don’t need to here your critique.”  I then hand a little book and a pen to Mr Perfect and ask him to keep a list of everything thats not not perfect.  And I told him, that he could share it with me and the group at the very end of the trip but not before.  And every time I’d see him ready to criticize, I hand him another pen and give him my look.

Eventually he’d see that every one else was happy and content. By the middle of the tour the little book would be gone. And eventually Mr. Perfect would just smile at imperfections.

But your Friend seems to be an extreme case.  I suggest you have a honest talk with him.   Tell him that you find joy in seeing what’s good in something less than perfect.  And that you really don’t need to have your otherwise good time, tarnished with his criticism.   Let him know that if he lowers his expectations, he might actually start to enjoy things.

Perhaps that will help,  But probably not.  Do Not Travel with Him!  If necessary, lose your Passport!

Signed,

Andrew, your Gay Travel Guru

 

 

Dear Andrew,

I have a difficult time meeting Guys.  I hear these big Gay Cruises have someone for everyone.   I figure if there are 6,000 men, there is at least one for me.  Maybe even more.

Signed,

6 out of 6,000 for me, please

 

Dear 6,

I wish it was so simple.    One for think that in a big crowd, anyone can meet someone, but it doesn’t work that way.  Sometimes, the larger the crowd, the harder it is to meet someone.   A big crowded party ship can be a very lonely place for a Guy without the social skills or experience in navigating a big crowd.

I suggest instead that you consider joining a small walking or hiking tour.  If you aren’t a party guy, you will likely find it easier to meet and talk to guys without all the noise and social competition.  And don’t think about finding the one or six.  Just open yourself to making friends.

 

Signed,

Andrew, your Gay Travel Guru

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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